One to Watch
By: Kate Stayman-London
Type: Fiction
My Rating: 5 stars
Hey #BachelorNation! This book is for you. To be transparent- If you are not a fan of the bachelor, bachelorette, paradise, etc. you will not love this as much as I did, but I still think you would find it to be highly enjoyable.
I, however, am a shameless, unapologetic raving lunatic fan of the franchise. I am an estate attorney and during the day, I deal with death and taxes and conflict and sadness. I love what I do, but to be honest, there are days where that all drains a person regardless of how tough her skin may be. And let me tell you; during “Bach” season, I.Cannot.WAIT.For.Monday! It’s literally the only thing that gets me through Sunday nights. It’s ok, its not like a regular week of work, it’s one day then Bachelor is on. Then it’s just a four day work week and it’s the weekend again already. It’s fine. I wake up on Monday and I’m like, ok, you can do this, one day of work and then it’s “Hometowns” tonight. (You know what I’m talking about- also, why are there less two night specials lately? Those Monday/ Tuesday double headers were the BEST!).
So back to the book-
The Synopsis:
Bea Schumacher is a plus size fashion blogger who has a decent following. She is also a huge fan of the “Main Squeeze” franchise. Ok, yes, it’s cheesy. But the point is that she, along with me, and probably most of the woman in the US and elsewhere if polled, are fed up with the size 4 stick figure, super-model, mostly white 22 year old cast. Bea makes this point in her blog and lo and behold, she finds herself being asked to be the next Main Squeeze!
Back story- Bea has been in love with her BFF Ray since forever and a day and she is pining for the day when he realizes she’s been there all along. Just when she thinks her lifelong dream is coming true, he ghosts her, hard.
So now, presented with being the first plus sized (can I please go ahead and say that I HATE this moniker and would like to simply call it what it is - NORMAL sized) woman, to ever be the lead in the franchise, and coming off of a broken heart Bea is nervous at best as to how this will go.
Through a series of episode recaps, third person narration, transcripts of Main Squeeze Pools, podcasts and the like, we get to follow along on the entirety of Bea’s season. And the best part- we don’t have to suffer through any group dates (thank you Kate Stayman-London!).
She has all the guys- the a**holes in it for their Insta-fame, the sexy french chef, a nerdy guy, a young guy, a bunch of diversely ethnic guys, but only one normal sized guy. She is not happy and doesn’t believe that any of them are there for the right reasons. She doubts herself as any of us likely would, but grows both in her relationships with the guys and more importantly in her relationship with herself.
My thoughts:
I am missing my dose of Bach right now, because of COVID or maybe because this is typically a break for the show (ps is Clare ever going to get a full cast- are they still airing those “if you know someone who would like to join the cast of Clare Crawley’s season.....” sheesh this poor girl). Sorry, tangent....
One to Watch was exactly what I needed to scratch that itch. And what’s better- this book, this work of satirized fiction, was actually more believable than most of the seasons of the Bachelor. (I said I loved it, not that I believed in reality TV). I looked so forward to diving back into this one whenever I had to put it down and I couldn’t wait to find out how the season ended.
As for the spoof part- yes it was cheesy at times - we had Johnny (who was clearly Chris Harrison) and Lauren the producer, whose intentions were not always in alignment with our leading lady, and even Bea who was at time, I felt, a little too hard on both herself and her suitors.
My least favorite part was the legal contract between Bea and “ABS” - It was just not at all an accurate representation of what that type of legal agreement would look like. If you are going to include something like that, I feel that it should be well researched and done properly. That being said, had it been researched and written like a true Employment / Non Disclosure Agreement, no one in their right mind would have actually wanted to slog through that waking nightmare, so maybe just drop that part? But no one asked me, so anyway.....
This was not a Pulitzer winner, but what it was- a highly entertaining, amazingly thought out alternative to the Bachelor- and, dare I say, one that I hope everyone over at ABC checks out and considers implementing some more normal looking people on their franchise. I know it’s TV, but last time I checked, I didn’t prance around in a bikini giving my husband shoulder rubs poolside all day. If the goal is marriage, wouldn’t it be better to be a little more realistic - say sweatpants and tee-shirt while debating where to order the pizza and who’s putting on “real pants” to pick it up- maybe that’s just me......
Who would I recommend this to?
If you are a fan of the Bachelor, hate the Bachelor, or ever watched the Bachelor or any of the shows in the franchise- this is DELIGHTFUL.
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